（真的好久好久沒有更新呢！早陣子一直在忙其他事情，加上家裡換了新的DVD機不能播美版碟的Closed Caption 字幕，所以這裡的網誌便一直塵封至今。現在第六季的The L Word開播了，原本打算邊從第一季翻看一遍邊等第六季的，現在恐怕辦不到了。幸好每星期才播一集，希望第六季播畢之前真的可以把一到五季全部看完吧！）

The L Word 的第一季季末，The Planet 舉行了一場Drag King Show，台上表演的這位嘉賓叫Ivan Aycock：

Ivan Aycock 這名字相當有趣，它的弦外之音你聽得出來嗎？　“Ivan Aycock”，讀起來像不像“I’VE — A– COCK”（我有男子漢那話兒）？加上一身西裝打扮和俊俏的小鬍子，“他”可是個百分之百的男子漢呢！

嗯，慢著，怎麼多讀兩遍，“Ivan Aycock”聽起來又變成“I–HAVEN’T–A–COCK”？？是想提醒台下如痴如醉的觀眾，即使沒有男子漢那話兒，這位Drag King卻比男子漢更Man更誘人嗎？ 還是這名字隱藏著心裡潛意識的願望　－－　“I–(V)WANT–A–COCK”－－　Drag 不單是一場表演，而是他希望生理上都變成真正的男子漢呢？

這個名字不同的解讀正好配合Ivan Aycock 撲朔迷離的性別身分，更說明Gender 這概念是多麼靈活！

P.S.  其實拿名字的諧音開玩笑一點也不新奇，英語裡面例子多的是，例如“Diaz”這姓氏都極為有趣：“Major Payne N. Diaz”你猜是甚麼意思呢？　（答案在下面）　還有，”Cameron Diaz” 的照相機丟到哪兒了？　:D

(答案是 “潘恩Ｎ戴斯上校” 就是 ‘Major Pain in the Ass’!!)

It’s been such a long long time since I’ve written  anything on this blog, so long that I almost forgot my password! 

At the end of last season of THE L WORD, I’ve given myself the assignment of re-watching every episode from season one and picking out interesting terms for discussion here while waiting for season six.  Well, now season six will be on in just a few days’ time and, of course, I’ve totally slacked off after writing just a few episodes !    

Well, it’s not that THE L WORD no longer interests me, it sure does.  But in the past few months much of my attention has been directed to following the news of some ‘real’ celebrity lesbian couples, who continues to be an inspiration to all lesbians and makes us realize that real-life lesbian couples can be just as happy and sweet and beautiful, if not happier, sweeter and more beautiful than, those gals in the drama!

Anyway, here are some of my favorite fanvid picks on Youtube:

Ellen & Portia – YES, you can be a LESBIAN AND be FUNNY, RICH, INFLUENTIAL and be with a beautiful BLOND partner at your DREAM WEDDING at the same time! 

Lilo & Sam – You can be OUT and PROUD without the rainbow flag and the offical coming-out party!

Goo & Cho - Friends, lovers, whatever.  Both being top Cantopop singers, they are a living legend and an inspiration to us all!

The L Word 第一季第七集裡, 當其他人都成雙成對的時候, 單身的Alice 坐在The Planet沒精打采地翻雜誌. 鏡頭的注意力也暫時轉移到她前面一枱的幾個女生, 她們正興高采烈地討論快要舉行的派對之夜的題目.  第一個女生建議 “Fuckwad” (罵人是笨蛋的髒話), 另一個建議“Labia”(拉丁文嘴唇的意思, 陰唇的醫學名稱也作Labia Majora/Minora), 最後大家同意用“Twat” 這個字 , 並將名字定為 “Twat: the night” . 然而其中一個女生又問她的同伴, 這個題目會不會惹怒大家呢? 

“Twat: the night” 表面的意思很簡單, “Twat” 是美式俚語, 代表女性私處 (英國人也愛用twat來罵人笨).  ”Twat : the night” 就是 ”陰部之夜“ .  既然她們認為Fuckwad, Labia 等字眼都可以接受, 那為甚麼”Twat : the night” 會冒犯別人呢? 

原來”Twat : the night” 這名字就是惡搞了西方聖誕經典詩 “Twas the night before Christmas 聖誕節前夜” (Twas 是 “It was” 的縮寫)!  這首1822年的兒童詩講述聖誕老人St. Nicholas在聖誕前夕坐著野鹿拉的雪橇四處探訪小朋友, 造就了聖誕老人現今家傳戶曉的形象. 按照美國人的習俗, 平安夜那晚, 一家人會坐在火爐旁,由一家之主為小孩讀出這個聖誕故事.  

說起美國的聖誕習俗, 去年聖誕節美國電視台播放了 Shrek史力加的聖誕特備節目Shrek The Halls (同樣惡搞了聖誕歌”Deck the Halls” 的名字), 裡面有Shrek 學習過聖誕的情節, 想知道怎樣過傳統美國聖誕節的話可參考此片 (店員介紹的第五步驟就是向家人講聖誕故事):

Youtube 上有許多Twas the night before Christmas的不同朗讀版本, 個人認為Perry Como 的版本跟他主唱的聖誕歌一樣最為經典:

說完了聖誕節, 還是言歸正傳繼續談談The L Word吧. 那位女生的同伴聽過她的憂慮, 便回答她”管它吧, 我們每天還不是遇到不少以陽具為題材的東西嗎?” 她們認為不滿意這題目的人應該”Deal with it”, 所以最後派對的題目是”Twat : the Night – Deal with it“. “Deal with it” 字面意思是”處理它”, “搞定它”, 可是如果這裡翻譯成 “陰部之夜 – 處理它” 也確實太奇怪了, 好像”陰部”是文件或者病菌一樣要經過處理!

我覺得這裡”deal with it” 應該是叫別人面對現實的意思, 是表達一種”我就喜歡這樣你能拿我怎麼著”的態度, 例如拉子們也可以告訴別人”Yes, I’m a lesbian, deal with it!” (對, 我就是拉子, 你能拿我怎麼辦!) 所以”Twat : the Night – Deal with it“, 我會把它翻成”"陰部之夜 – 你管得著!“, 或者用地道的廣東話, 翻譯成”陰部之夜 – 吹o羊?“!!!

I watched Kung Fu Panda at its premiere last week.  In the first place, I had little interest in the Kung Fu genre. I went only because my favorite singer hocc  was doing the voice of TIGRESS and my girlfriend had managed to get us premiere tickets. Unexpectedly, I was utterly impressed by the film, and in particular, by the heroine, TIGRESS.

 Before I watched the film, I had imagined the Kung Fu mistress to be

an archetypal ‘girly-girl’ figure such as Chun Li 春麗 in the Street Fighter series, who wears ridiculously short and tight Qipao showing her curvy figure and long legs, with hair pulled up in two childish buns (and I’m sure those buns are cast-molded on her head because they never come off even when she is up-side down doing the spinning bird kick). 

 As it turns out, the TIGRESS, leader of the FURIOUS FIVE, is a very androgynous character.  She is not personified to speak with a high-pitched voice or wear silly ribbons and short Qipao; instead, she is sturdy, flat-chested, and she wears mannish martial arts vest and trousers. In terms of character, the heroine is fierce, strong, determined, cool, who takes on herself to challenge the enemy and leads the group to evacuate the village.   Dreamworks has once again done a good job in breaking gender stereotypes (Princess Fiona in Shrek is one good example), and I’m just thrilled to see a butch  character in this big animation production! And wIth hocc, the current lesbian icon in Hong Kong, doing the voice of Tigress (In US version it’s Angelina Jolie, who is likewise very popular among the LGBT community), can’t you sense just a subtle lesbian vibe here?

The L Word 第一季第五集裡，Dana和副廚Lara約會然後一夜春宵，本應感到十分快活才對，可是後來Dana卻坐在The Planet懊惱不已，說以後也不再幹那回事。Alice 猜她跟Lara發生了什麼尷尬事，例如口交的時候在對方身上打噴嚏，玩性遊戲的時候被綁起來然後對方溜走等，在旁邊一臉不耐煩的Shane直接問Dana : “DId you queef?”

這個“Queef”字的意思連Dana也不曉得呢！ 根據維基百科的解釋Queef是擬聲詞 （發音應該是“kw-ee-f” 吧），象徵”陰道排氣“(Vaginal Flatulence) 的聲音, 說是男方的陽具(或其他物體)從女方陰道抽出的時候由於裡面藏了空氣而發出”queef” 的一聲 (聽說做瑜珈某些動作也會出現這種排氣現象). 雖然陰道排氣無色無味也並非不衛生, 人們卻愛以”放屁” (Fart, wind, gas) 形容它, 例如Pussy Fart, Vart (Vagina + Fart), Fanny Fart (英式俚語中Fanny 解作私處) , Cunt Gas等等, 也有形容它是飽餐後打嗝的聲音, 例如Beaver Burp (美式俚語中Beaver也解作私處), Curp (Cunt + Burp)等, 令這個不由自主的床上生理現象聽起來特別噁心! (還有, 說也奇怪, 我們中國人”放屁”的擬聲詞是”砵”, 怎麼老外放屁就不是”砵”一聲清脆響亮而是拖得長長的呢?)

說起放屁, 不知怎地, 老外實在很喜歡放屁這個話題. 我在Youtube 看了些短片, 他們 除了用屁眼放屁, 還會用身體各處做出”放屁” 的效果, 很嚇人呢:

腋窩放屁 -

雙手放屁 (還奏出馬里奧兄弟的遊戲音樂!!!) -

膝蓋放屁 -

警告: 以下內容可能令人不安, 切勿模仿!

耳朵放屁 -

眼睛也可以放屁!! -

Youtube 還有真正Queef 的示範 (到底什麼人會拍下這些短片呢??), 太BT, 這裡不貼了, 自己上youtube 找找看吧!

同樣在L Word第一季第四集裡, Peggy Peabody 告訴Bette 她在1974年也曾是Lesbian, Bette 說這叫做“Hasbian”.

“Hasbian”是由“Has” (助動詞) 和 “-bian” (‘Lesbian’ 的後綴詞素)構成的新詞, 這個相信大家都很熟悉了. 性別/性向文化近年發展迅速, 所以構造新詞的情況也特別多. 除了上面的”Hasbian”之外, 還有以下形容各種女同志的英語新詞:

Celesbian : Celebrity (名人) + Lesbian

= 名人女同志 例子 – Ellen DeGeneres 和 Portia De Rossi, K D Lang 等

K. D. Lang

Mombian : Mom + Lesbian

= 育有兒女的女同志 例子 – The L Word 裡面的 Tibette (Tina + Bette)

Shouldbian: Should + Lesbian

= 還沒成為女同志但被認為應該成為同志 例子 HIlary Swank (不是我瞎說的, 是OurChart 的一篇文章提議的)

Hilary Swank in Boys don’t cry

Wannabian: Want-to-be (美語口語 = Wannabe) + Lesbian

= 希望成為女同志的人 例子 – TLW 第一季第五集裡出現了”Lisa”這個角色, 他說自己是Lesbian-identified man (認同自己身分為女同志的男人), 我想他壓根兒就是個 Wannabian吧!

當然上面介紹的新詞都只是從網上找來或者是從生活中聽到的, 辭典還沒有收錄, 但看來構造新詞還挺容易呢! 讓我也來泡製幾個”拉拉新詞”吧:

1. Flexbian: Flexible (靈活) + Lesbian

= 可以隨心所欲變成女同志的人 – 我想起TLW第五季Molly的名句: “Go Gay for Shane” (為Shane變孿)

2. Pleasbian: Pleasure (v) + Lesbian

= “逗自己開心”的女同志 (嘿嘿, 實解有自慰習慣的女同志!!)

3. Anorexian: Anorexia (厭食症) + Lesbian

= 患了厭食症/身材極瘦的女同志 – 到底有沒有極瘦的女同志呢? 我想男性化的Butches多數不屬這類! 美國醫學期刊的研究甚至發現女同志 比異性戀女性患上過胖 (overweight) 或 癡肥 (obese) 的風險高於兩倍! 不過研究亦指這結果代表女同志對自我身體形象的滿意度較高(所以不用時刻節食來滿足男權社會對女性胴體的審美指標)! 文章連結

3. Homebian: Home + Lesbian

= 足不出戶的自閉型女同志 – 我女友路過的建議, 可能是她潛意識埋怨我老在家打blog也不跟她上街吧…還是立刻收筆好了.

如果你到網上的L Word Fansite 看看他們搜集的精彩對白 (Famous Quotes), 你會發現身為作家/電台主持的Alice 這個角色的對白總是妙語連珠, 十分有趣. 第一季第四集裡她再度搭上曾經傷害她的Gabby, Shane 勸Alice不要接近Gabby, 說對方已經對她很冷淡, 但色迷心竅的Alice 卻說Gabby 是:

“Cold in the street, hot in the sheets!”

這裡 “In the Sheets” 的Sheets 是指床單 (Bed sheets), 而不是紙張呢!!   所以整句的意思是“外表矜持, 內裡豪放”, 用廣東話這句“外表斯文, 內裡OPEN”就更傳神又押韻!

其實女同志的流行語中也有類似的一句“Butch in the Street, Femme in the Sheets” , 這個“街上是B, 床上是G”  (或”街上是T, 床上是婆”)的理論許多人都聽過了吧! (老實說我覺得這個說法還挺準的) ;p

在 The L Word 第二季其中一幕, Shane 替Jenny 剪了一頭短髮, 然後她們在大街走著, Jenny 還被女同志當街打量,背景音樂就是”Butch in the Street” (雖然個人認為“短髮就是Butch”這想法實在是Too simple, sometimes naive):

I was searching for lesbian-themed t-shirt designs when I came across this page on the lesbian dating site “planet sappho” which gives advice on what lesbians should NOT wear on various occasions such as “when your mother’s visiting” and “to the work’s Christmas do”, and the one piece of garment that tops the lists is a “NOBODY KNOWS I’M A LESBIAN” T-shirt!

Well, if the “L” word on your shirt is going to give your mom a heart attack, you can always opt for the more discreet ones so that you can make your statement while at the same time fly under the radar.  In fact, last summer I wore such a tee to work many many times and my colleagues just peeped (with a puzzled look) at my shirt without saying anything at all, that was fun.  Here are some of my choices for the coming summer:

(1) “My Girl Loves ME, not MEN!”  from DUD Design:

(2)  “Pez…,no, Lez, anyone?”  from Queer Republic Tees:

 (3) ”The only straight thing I do” from SimplyUs

(4)  “Tri-bad-ism … something BAD girls do THREE times a night” by DUD Design:

伊甸園國外連續劇交流站 看TLW學英語筆記 的樓主問我“U-haul“一詞的意思, 這個詞在第五季出現, 本來我想留待寫畢一到四季才寫的, 這裡就插一下隊吧!

第五季第一集Alice在她的Podcast 節目Lesboland 中訪問 Bette 的上司 Phyllis, Phyllis 是剛剛”出櫃” 的中年同志, 對於女同文化認識不深. 她們談到Phyllis 跟她的新女伴Joyce的時候, 有以下一番對話:

Alice: Have you guys “U-hauled”?

Phyllis: “U-hauled”?

Alice: It’s a lesbian ritual. You date for a couple of weeks and you rent a U-haul and you move in!”

其實”U-haul” 的意思就是第一季首集Harrison說的那個“What does a lesbian bring on a second date? – A Moving Van!” 女同志笑話! (我在“The Many Uses of a Turkey Baster” 一篇已經討論過).

U-haul 是美國規模最大的搬運公司 , 它們提供搬運服務, 儲存倉庫, 拖卡車, 還有不同容量的搬運貨車供人租貸(美國人很喜歡自己開車呢):

所以Alice 給Phyllis 的解釋就是 “(女同志) 約會兩個星期, 然後租一輛U-haul搬運貨車就搬進家裡一起住了”. 這裡”U-haul” 一字代表Moving Van的意思!

美語運用上也有不少這樣的替代法, 以一個著名品牌的名字取代那種物件, 甚至化身動詞形容那種活動, 例如複印機老品牌Xerox 的名字就被廣泛使用為複印的動詞 (“Have you Xeroxed the report?”), 連牛津字典也有收錄, 還有美國生產紙巾的公司Kleenex (“He Kleenexed his nose after sneezing). [說句提外話, 可別以為這些公司歡迎人們這樣使用它們的商號, 因為如果太廣泛使用, 日後公司被侵犯商標而告狀, 法庭可能會由於商號已經成為人們廣泛使用的生活用語而判公司敗訴呢!]

話說回來, 香港也有一家街知巷聞的搬運公司叫”人人搬屋“, 如果我用中文對她說:”來跟我人人吧!” , 不知道她會否明白呢?

人人搬屋的廣告:

Sometime ago I stumbled upon a site called lesbiangamers.com which features a vlog, lots of gaming articles and a forum about PC and console games for lesbian gamers (and it has a funny sub-heading which says ‘Because sometimes we use our hands for other things‘). They have reviews on games like Boom blox, Wii Fit, My Sims which are popular among the lesbian gaming community.

Now, these games all seem great fun, but they are games for lesbians as much as they are for straight girls, or even for my 8-year-old cousin! To me, the definition of a lesbian game is one that requires stamina, rhythm and A LOT OF FINGERWORK (yeah, we lezzies know how to use our fingers)!

So, what’s a better way to flex your finger muscles than playing one of those fast mouse-clicking PC games of the Diner Dash series (and its variants)? Here are some of my favourite games (and notice how my lesbian fingers did me wonders in climbing to the top of the global high score list):

Diner Dash 2 – Spongebob Squarepants Version;

Diner Dash 3 – Flo On The Go;

Diner Dash 4 – Hometown Hero;

Wedding Dash (my all time favourite);

Wedding Dash 2 (the latest game in the series);

and Dairy Dash!

You can find these games on Playfirst